Woman Accuses Her Boyfriend Of Not Loving Her After He Changes His Phone Lock Screen
Is he wrong in thinking this is not a big issue?
TITOVA ILONA / Canva Pro Young love is a strong, complicated feeling and, in this day and age, can be greatly affected by social media and the presence of technology.
A young man has gone to Reddit for advice on his current relationship troubles. It all started when he changed his wallpaper.
The woman accused her boyfriend of not loving her anymore because he changed his phone lock screen.
The young man started his post by explaining that for most of their 16-month relationship, he has had the same picture as his phone wallpaper lock screen. It was a photo of him and his girlfriend, and he left it as his lock screen mostly to appease her because, he explained, his girlfriend "thought about it as a sign of love."
He went on to say that he considers himself a "smartphone enthusiast" and enjoys customizing and changing the way his phone looks. He wrote, "I change wallpapers daily, but never my lock screen."
Photo: South_agency / Canva Pro
That all changed on a whim, and it had a significant impact on his girlfriend. He decided he finally wanted to mix things up with his screens and changed his lock screen. "I changed it [a] month ago, and my girlfriend just noticed today, and her mood went from 100 to 0 real quick. She didn't talk to me for an hour at least and even cried a little in silence."
His girlfriend's mood was immediately affected after she noticed his lock screen change, and she saw it as a sign that he loved her less.
The man insisted that it didn’t mean he loved her any less and that it was just wallpaper on his phone, but she disagreed, going so far as to say they weren't "made for each other" because of the photo swap.
Struggling to understand how this could be such an issue, he explained that his way of showing love was not through pictures and wallpapers. Not believing him, she went to a friend for advice. Her friend told her that her boyfriend changes his wallpaper all the time, which has nothing to do with how much he loves her and is completely normal.
Photo: Pheelings Media / Canva Pro
She relaxed after speaking to her friend and returned to work things out with her boyfriend. He was, however, a bit upset that it took outside advice for her to believe him. He wrote, "She listens to other people when they say something is totally normal, but when I tell that to her, she doesn't acknowledge it at all."
Social media and technology as a whole have a strong impact on today’s generation, especially on their relationships.
The foundation of any successful relationship is trust, so it's understandable that the young man was upset that his girlfriend needed outside confirmation to resolve their disagreement, but at the root of that distrust is technology.
Technology and social media play a much larger role in young people's relationships than they ever have before, and with that larger role comes larger problems.
Darren Adamson, PhD, LMFT, chair of the Department of Marriage and Family Sciences at National University, explained in an article for the University that couples should not “use social media as a negative point of comparison for your relationship.”
Photo: SHOTPRIME / Canva Pro
While this young man’s post does not directly relate to a social media presence, many young women in the comments were offering advice, saying their ex-partners had removed them from their social profile pictures or wallpapers before a breakup. Although not quite a social media photo, the lock screen change falls in line with the same insecurities.
Boundaries relating to technology and social media in relationships are incredibly important to establish with your partner. According to the Gottman Institute, “boundaries allow you to love the other person in a way they can feel.”
It is important to set boundaries regarding what you are comfortable with the other person doing or asking you to do. In order for boundaries to be successful, couples need to communicate, listen, and trust each other. It's obvious that those skills are a bit lacking in this young man's relationship, but that doesn't mean their future is doomed. Now that they have pinpointed their relationship weakness, they can begin to learn and grow — hopefully together.
Madison Piering is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team specializing in human interest and pop culture topics.